Holding On.

I'm not a hoarder. Far from it. Well, I'd like to think so anyway. I'd be lying though if I said there was nothing in my life that I hold on to for certain sentimental reasons.

For example - I have kept pretty much every card or letter that the husband has given me throughout the seven years we've been together. I most definitely am a sap that hoards all that... stuff. (Yes, I was going to say crap JUST TO RHYME but I sensed nagging would be imminent so...)

Last night I was just lying in bed trying to fall asleep when it hit me that there are things in my life I keep around not for sentimental reasons - but because it's a symbol of something, whether it's a symbol of where I came from or a symbol of a dream I had when I acquired that object. Let's concentrate on the latter.

Should I keep that object around? Why do I hold onto it so tight - because I still think the dream's a possibility or because I know it's impossible but can't admit it to myself? It gets even harder when the object itself is something you've always dreamed of owning, like a dream car for example. If you admit to yourself that you're not going to get that dream, unfortunately it means you have to give up that dream object, and what's worse you also have to deal with the fact that you'll probably never get that dream object back.

Nobody likes to admit their failings. It's even worse when those failings are going to pretty much be advertised. "Why did you sell it? Wasn't it your dream (insert object here)?" But how far do you let it go before you realise that your pride is just going to end up hurting you?

So you suck it up and give up the dream, and that beautiful object that's been making you hold on to that dream. And you admit to yourself that you were stupid for thinking you could ever achieve that dream. This is as good as it gets. You just have to learn to live with it.