The Tragedy of Death

Following on from my previous post, there's been lots of talk of heaven by people on my various social media timelines in regards to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. You know the usual "It's so sad that MY people are suffering and dying, but it's OK because when MY people die they'll go to heaven."

Now, whenever I hear someone say something like this it just rubs me the wrong way. It's also a reminder that I honestly don't want someone who truly believes that in my life - keep in mind the whole "prerequisites" to heaven I spoke about.

Death is tragic. There are no requirements for an individual to meet that makes a death any more or less tragic to me. Not race, religion, nationality, circumstances of death, age (to a certain extent) or even that person's relationship with me.

My grandmother passed away last September. I took her death very badly. She was very important to me. Even so, I never considered her death more tragic than someone else's grandmother. It just broke me because I loved her, just like it would break someone else. More hurtful since it hits closer to home? Definitely. More tragic just because it's happening to me? Definitely not.

I am blessed (read: fucking cursed) to be able to see the propaganda from both sides of this conflict. That makes it easy for me to deduce that the basis of the argument is to deflect blame and to milk the situation for all it's worth.

Group A: LOOK AT THESE PICTURES OF THESE DEAD CHILDREN

Group A Supporters: RETWEET REBLOG OMG THOSE ANIMALS

Me: Yeah let's just ignore the fact that this wouldn't be happening if not for the rocket fire.

Group B: THIS CERTAIN PICTURE OF THE DEAD CHILDREN ISN'T ACTUALLY FROM THIS CONFLICT

Group B Supporters: RETWEET REBLOG OMG THOSE LIARS

Me: Yeah let's just ignore the fact that children are actually dying, even if they aren't in that picture.

I don't make myself out to be some sort of expert on this conflict. I have read propaganda filled history and also the neutral history, so I may know more than the armchair complainer but I'm no expert. However, I am not an "elitist" (read: brainless fucktard) that believes death or suffering must fulfil certain criteria before I find it tragic. As long as you feel that way, I honestly have no space for you in my life because let's face it - how the fuck am I going to fit your big head anywhere?

Heaven

One of my main issues with organised religion is the fact that people truly believe they are right, and everyone else is wrong. It's not the mysticism of it all that gets to me (that will probably be revisited in a future post), it's the fact that you are inevitably raised to think that you have a step up over everyone else.

Concentrating on the three monotheistic Abrahamic faiths (purely because that's where I have experience - having been raised Muslim, studying in a convent then marrying a Jew), a prerequisite to "qualifying" for heaven is being a believer. Now, that just does not sit right with me. Should heaven and God (who we should obviously assume is fair and just, otherwise what's the point) exist, surely the only prerequisite should be that you're a good person (ambiguous, I know - just go with it).

I've had many people force share their opinion on with me on this topic. I will never understand why people feel so compelled to "fix" me. I honestly don't care what you believe, unless it's something derogatory/close-minded and you're clearly talking out of your ass because you know basically nothing about what you're talking about (currently at least 50% of my Facebook feed thanks to the Israel-Hamas situation).

Thing is, at the end of the day, as long as there are more prerequisites than just being a good person  - religion, sexual orientation, race, etc. - then that really sounds like hell to me. I would prefer not to spend the rest of eternity with a bunch of people who, let's face it, will be fucking smug about the fact that they were "right".

This just horrifies people. "Aren't you afraid of going to hell?!" Frankly? No. I'm not perfect. Far from it. But I honestly don't think I'm a bad person. If living my life the way I am sends me to hell, where murderers and rapists and paedophiles are sent too, then so be it. I rather not go to heaven that is governed by a God that can justify doing that, because that God is neither fair nor just. That God is vengeful and spiteful. That God is punishing me for acting/dressing how I want, eating/drinking what I want (and obviously so much more, but I highly doubt there's time for this) in the same way he is punishing others for taking lives, for stripping people of their dignity, for destroying families.

That's like a girl getting punished in school for wearing black shoes instead of white, the same way this other kid gets punished for stabbing someone during recess. Nobody would be fine with that - there would be such an outroar! Newsflash - same thing, really.

So why do my personal beliefs affect others so strongly? You'd assume it's because they care for me. You'd be wrong. Most of the people who want to "fix" me are barely present in my life. And yet here they are, veins popping out of their necks and foreheads, eyeballs threatening to pop out of their sockets, as they try so hard to make me believe them. Why then? Easy. "Fixing" me is just something that will fatten up their resume for heaven.

Which leads us to this question:

If the Abrahamic faiths explicitly stated that there is no afterlife, how many people (in your opinion) would actually follow all of these rules and regulations knowing full well they will not be rewarded with heaven nor punished with hell?

Bazinga.

In which I rant about the Middle East...

A couple of nights ago over dinner, my sister asked me to explain the current Israel-Palestine situation, because people were suddenly getting political/religious on her social media timelines. My 11 year old sister Sara was sitting next to me, and I wanted to include her in this as well so I attempted to explain it in a way that she would understand. The conversation went something like this:

Me: If Sara flicked my ear constantly for half an hour, and I finally get tired of it, turn around and slap her, would you blame me? I mean it’s a tad bit overzealous but pretty much justified, right? (Everyone agrees.) But what if I started beating on her so much that by the end of it, you can’t even recognise her? That would definitely be excessive force, wouldn’t you say? Especially considering I’m bigger and stronger than her - there’s no way for her to defend herself. (Again, everyone agrees.) But what if I tell you the only reason she was flicking my ear in the first place is because she’s starving and I’m sitting next to her having a feast while only passing scraps on? That’s not fair is it? But what if I tell you the reason I feel compelled to do that is because Sara has pretty much declared that she wants to destroy me, and to protect myself I rather not give her anything that might be used as a weapon against me?

It was around this point that Sara turned to me and said “Do the reasons end?” and I flat out told her that they don’t. You could go way, way back in history with this, and let’s face it - historical accounts differ. I told her whatever I just stated aren’t reasons - they’re excuses to justify whatever actions people choose to take.

The reason for this post is purely because I am constantly asked which side I’m on, because of my personal situation. The answer’s pretty simple - I’m on everyone’s side. To be completely honest this answer doesn’t sit well with anyone because people want me to agree with their “facts” (read: opinions). Let’s consider this case study I am making up:

Let’s say I’m playing Articulate/Taboo. Two groups of people are trying to describe the Israel-Palestine situation to me. Group A describes it from the Israeli perspective, and Group B describes it from the Palestinian perspective. I’m going to get the same answer every time, even though everyone will be stating what they believe to be “facts”.

Let me tell you the only fact I care about - there are innocent people dying. What usually comes next when I say that to someone is “Yes, but…” There is NO but. None. Zilch. In my opinion, nobody is right. No action is justified if it causes death - whether directly or as a consequence.

I often get labelled a non-believer because I don’t side with my “brothers and sisters”. Excuse me - I have one brother, and two sisters. Trust me, we fight like cats and dogs, and I’m most definitely not always on their side. But if you don’t mean “brothers and sisters” in that sense, then to me, I am siding with my “brothers and sisters”. You are either my brother/sister genetically, or you’re my brother/sister in humanity. I don’t bring sexual orientation/nationality/race/religion/political affiliation into this.

Everyone is someone’s father/mother/son/daughter/brother/sister. We all know this. How do you expect me to feel more for someone’s innocent 11 month old son then somebody else’s? The grief is the same. I want to go to every funeral. I want to hug everyone who’s hurting. I want to promise them that things will get better.

But things won’t get better. Not while everyone is only concerned with being right. I can’t blame them - that’s human nature. I love being right. Thing is, my personal disagreements have never put anyone’s life at risk. Everyone has made mistakes. The only way to move forward is to forget the past - nothing but a clean slate will fix this.

Will this post make anybody happy? It will probably make NOBODY happy. The thing is - I honestly don’t care. This is MY opinion. I don’t need you to be happy about it. I just need you to accept that this is how I feel, and that nothing will change how I feel about it. As much as I might not LIKE your opinion, I’m not going to try to change how you feel about it, nor am I going to try to silence you, because you have the right to feel however the hell you want to feel.

Don’t try to get me on “your side”. Don’t try to convince me that I should sympathise with “your side”. It’s not going to work. I will probably just piss you off, and I bet I already do that without my opinion on the Middle East thrown in. Respect my right to have my opinion, the same way I respect your right to have yours.

Just FYI - I will not sit around and listen to ANYONE say horrible things about ANY group of people, e.g. “Those evil Jews” or “Those Muslim animals”. Which by the way are all things that have been said around me, by people I know. I multi-task very well and I eavesdrop EXTREMELY well. This sort of talk makes me lose all respect for you. I will walk away, I will walk out of the house, I will walk out of your life. I will not stand for any kind of prejudice because that’s not an opinion - that’s stupidity. That’s you believing you’re better than someone else for whatever reason, and that is not the kind of people I want in my life.

This is how I feel, it’s here so you won’t ask me in person because 75% of the time having this conversation in person will likely destroy our relationship. Thank you.